Thursday, 9 September 2010

~social phobia~

 Just wrote this in scraproom message board and though I'd copy it here, too.

I think I might have figure out what the problem is with me... why I find it so hard to get my life going and to do a loooooooot of other things.
I think I suffer from rather severe social phobia (or social anxiety disorder). Wow. I have no idea why I haven't bumped into this before. It sure makes sense to me... BIG TIME! I have read about it a fair bit tonight.
It totally explains why I have such difficulties forming friendships etc. I don't think I have ever really considered myself shy and as I read about this, I learned that it doesn't have anything at all to do with shyness. People with social phobia really badly want to interact with other people, but it is super scary. Hmm.. I wonder if I am making any sense. Too many thoughts in my mind.

I suffer sooo badly from loneliness.. in fact I cry about it way too often. I have sometimes been puzzled by the fact that I feel like there are many people out there that would like to be friends with me, but as much as I soooo badly want it, I am really scared of it and kind of hide away. I so wish that people would call me, but I still keep my Skype closed all the time and if my mobile rings... I will happily not answer it or will make Paul answer it. Talking on the phone is scary for me.. I am always nervous that I will sound really stupid or will all of a sudden run out of things to say and won't know what to do then... or that I won't understand something, if the conversation is in english. worry, worry, worry.

I do think I have had this for a long time and I am pretty sure it has started from having such rough time being bullied at school. I think that since moving here to Australia, it has gotten even worse. The social isolation has been so intense.

This is kind of exciting though as now that I know about this, I can really start fixing it!

But reading this really quite scared me as I ticked a lot of the boxes:
"If social phobia is left untreated Catherine says," The sufferer may end up single, less educated, financially dependent or less well off. They may also go on to develop additional psychiatric disorders such as alcoholism. The very worst case scenario is they may commit suicide"."

I'd better really get into fixing this!

10 comments:

  1. Hienoa, että etsit vastauksia! Tuo selittävän diagnoosin löytäminen on hyvä juttu. Ja hyvä, että olet aktiivisesti hoitamassa itseäsi. Avoimuus auttaa aina. Kun kaikki tietää, ei ole salattavaa tai pelättävää.

    Itse olen oppinut tänä vuonna, että jokaisella ihmisellä on omat ongelmansa, kukaan ei ole täydellinen, vaikka siltä näyttäisi. Me ollaan kaikki vaan ihmisiä. Ja eriasteiset psyykkiset vaivat ovat paaaljon yleisempiä kuin ihmiset ymmärtävät itsekään. Joten voi ihan hyvin olla armelias itselleen ja muille, me ollaan kaikki arvokkaita ja hyviä :)

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  2. *Halaus*

    Muistathan tarvittaessa hakea apua ajatusten setvimiseen, jos tuntuu, että siitä voisi olla hyötyä (tai älä ainakaan jää yksin miettimään vaan juttele myös Paulin kanssa)

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  3. minulla meni monta vuotta uuden verkoston luomiseen ulkomailla - tiedän, millaista se on..

    jaksamista!

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  4. Hi Laura

    Just wanted to say that it was very brave of you to blog about that. It really is one step in the right direction for you and also helps other people understand you. Scrapbooking/Crafting is perfect for you on so many levels...you can go to crops....do your own thing and talk when it suits you. How about online chatting? Say through facebook or msn messenger? I think it is sort of practice conversation and social interaction without being in person.....hope that makes sense. I know that I am more comfortable chatting online than in person when I get to know a person. Anyways, take care! Look me up on fb!! Ruey

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  5. You know what I like, Laura? I like that you're getting to know yourself better right now... discovering new things like feeling hungry & realizing why you feel the way you do. It's NEVER too late to learn something new & there's no time like the present to make changes in your life.

    You GO, girl! The only person EVER stopping you at ANYTHING in life... is you. Just be unstoppable... you are worth it! :-)

    Big hugs...

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  6. Moikka! Toi toisen maahan muutaminen voi olla isokin osa siitä ongelmast esim puhelimen kanssa. Muistan itse tunteen kun muutin tänne en minäkään haluunut kauheasti soita minekään koska just kun en ollut varma ymmäränkö kaiken jms mies sai aika paljon tehdä mun puolest kaikea, sitten vaan n vuosi sen jälkeen kun olin muutanut päätin että minä menen nyt yksin kylään porvoon, mikä on 50km meiltä, kun en ollut pahemin ajanut suomessa jms siitä se edistuminen alkoi, uskon että sinullakin on iso askel tehty kun tiedät mistä on kyse ja että olet joo tehnyt varauksen jalkahoitoon... jaksamista

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  7. Voimia sinulle! Todellakin uskon, et pikkuhiljaa kaikki alkaa loksahdella paikalleen ja pelot alkavat väistymään!
    Iso rutistus!

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  8. Onneksi sinä et ole lähelläkään tuota pahinta vaihtoehtoa, vaikka siltä varmaan joskus tuntuu.

    Puhelimessa puhuminen ei ole munkaan lempijuttuja, mutta kaikki kirjoittaminen toimii yhteydenpidossa paremmin - samaa siis aioin ehdottaa kuin Ruey, että chattaamaan vaan :)

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  9. Hi Laura dear! It's good to hear that you're starting to figure out the reason for things, as it will make it easier to do something about it. You know, I quite agree with you... you're not shy, and I know you worry about those things without any reason at all! I'm sure you'll get where you want some day, I just know you will! :)

    And I wish you weren't so far away too... it would make visiting a lot easier. ;)

    Enjoy your pedicure, and also keep on taking those photos! I loved the last 2 you posted, and I'm impressed, seeing as I don't get the manual settings in my camera at all! Big hugs to you from here!

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  10. Laura,
    Ihailen suunnattomasti rohkeuttasi kertoa vaikeistakin asioista näin blogisi välityksellä. On myös hienoa lukea, että elämän umpisolmuille alkaa löytyä nimiä ja selityksiä.
    Minäkin toivon, että tukeudut kivikkoisella elämänpolulla läheisiin - perheeseen ja lähimpiin ystäviin.
    Ja muista, että olet suuren kaukoystäväjoukon ajatuksissa!!
    Halauksia!!!

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